Fairy tales do not tell children that dragons exist. Children already know that. Fairy tales tell children that dragons can be killed.
-Chesterton
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Monday Inspiration: Parenting By Grace
I want to be the best dad possible. MI want to do everything I can to help my girls grow into healthy, confident, faith-filled, gracious, initiative-taking women.
Ron Edmondson (one of my favorite people to share on my blog) shares his thoughts on Parenting by Grace. Helpful, as usual. One of my challenges is to not nag my girls about insignificant things. Ron addresses that idea here:
Major on the majors, not the minors - There should be some items, which everyone understands are non-negotiable items. We tend to let these be moral or Biblical issues, such as lying, cheating, disrespect, etc. If the issue affects the child’s character, then it is a major issue. These major issues are handled sternly and thoroughly, but still with love. The minor issues, issues, which do not affect the child’s character, are not to be ignored, but they can be handled less severely. This will eliminate much of the “nagging” children often feel parents do.
Read his other 5 suggestions in the full entry here.
What’s one of the most helpful things you’ve learned as a parent?
Children learn they matter from you
Donald Miller reminds us that children don’t learn that they matter from the Bible, they learn it from you. He says:
Yesterday, Matthew Perryman Jones sent out a tweet saying there was a princess party in his living room. You could tell the tweet went out from a moment of pure delight. How could you not delight in that picture? And earlier yesterday morning, I read a quote from John Sower’s book Fatherless Generation about how quickly our girls wilt when their fathers leave, how they long to know they are beautiful and wanted and have the God-given power to endear a man. And for obvious reasons, the picture and the quote struck me pretty hard.
Daughters are a gift from God
You probably already know that I have two wonderful daughters. My girls melt my heart constantly. They are beautiful, sweet, and affectionate. It is a huge honor to have the privilege of being their daddy.
This post is to pass along two amazing books every dad of a little girl should have. They aren’t parenting books, but are more focused on the joy of God’s gift of daughters to you and on your role as a father.
Why a Daughter Needs a Dad
Why A Daughter Needs A Dad: 100 Reasons by Gregory E. Lang
This book offers 100 reasons why a daughter needs a dad, but here are my top 10:
A daughter needs a dad…
- to show her that true love is unconditional
- to teach her that her value as a person is more than the way she looks
- to teach her that family is more important than work
- to show her that a man can be trustworthy
- to be the safe spot she can always turn to
- to teach her that a man’s strength is not the force of his hands or his voice, but the kindness of his heart
- to be the standard against which she will judge all men
- to help her take risks that will build her confidence
- to hold her when she cries
- to teach her she is important by stopping what he is doing to watch her
The Love Between Fathers and Daughters
The Love Between Fathers and Daughters by Helen Exley
This book is filled with great quotes about father and daughters. Again, here are some favorites:
He grows with her, learning as they go. He feels with her—each restlessness, each fear, each pain. She laughs and he is overjoyed. She reaches out her little arms to him and he rejoices. She sleeps on his shoulder and he does not move her, for fear of waking her….All disappointments, all failures fade like a mist before this golden girl. His daughter. (Pam Brown)
Every day of my life has been a gift from him. His lap had been my refuge from lightning and thunder. His arms had sheltered me from teen-age heartbreak. His wisdom and understanding had sustained me as an adult. (Neille Pike Randall)
When you are a father, and you hear your children’s voices, you will feel that those little ones are akin to every drop in your veins; that they are the very flower of your life and you will cleave so closely to them that you seem to feel every movement that they make. (Honoré de Balzac)
via Justin Holcomb
Changing a heart versus adding a rule
I am often confronted with issues where one person has wronged another person. At times people expect me, as the pastor, to enforce morals on people in order to change them. Some how they believe if I talk to them, I can “force” them to change their ways.
I have learned one principle well. Rules never change people.
It doesn’t matter how many you have, how strictly you enforce them, or even how loyal people are to obey them. Rules alone never change a person. Rules are often necessary to protect and bring order to chaos, but for people to change a heart has to change.
Heart changes change people, not rules.
Have you tried to change people with rules? Did it work?
Three Easy Parenting Principles
Ron Edmonson shares 3 easy parenting principles he learned while raising his children. I want to learn as much as I can about being a great dad…
I am asked dozens of questions about what we did or didn’t do as parents. I am amazed that God has allowed us to raise the two young men we have in our house, but there were a few principles we practiced consistently.
Here are three principles for parenting I think all parents should consider:
Be intentional – Parenting is hard work. Don’t try it without a plan. It’s amazing how we tend to plan for everything in life, but seldom for our parenting. I know men who have a plan to improve their golf game, but nothing to help them grow as a father. If you want to be a great parent, you must be intentional about that role. Have an overall plan for your parenting and an individual plan for each child, depending on their needs at the time.
Stoughton Hospital offers “Home On Your Own” course for kids
Hey Stoughton parents, this may be a helpful resource for you:
Stoughton Hospital, in partnership with Dean & St. Mary’s Health Works, is pleased to offer summer classes for children and teens.
Home on Your Own – for Kids
- For children ages 8-11 who may be home for a few hours without an adult. The focus is on making wise and safe choices on first aid, fire safety and emergency situations.
- Wednesday, Aug. 4
- Cost is $25
- 9:30 a.m. to 12:00 p.m. OR 1 p.m. to 3:30 p.m.
All classes will be conducted in Stoughton Hospital’s Bryant Health Education Center on the lower level.
Dean Health Plan subscribers and Stoughton Hospital employees qualify for a 10 percent discount on the Health Works classes offered locally.
To register for classes visit www.deancare.com/healthworks or call 608-827-4424 for more detailed class information.
Overchurched kids?
Found this post here. Very interesting and challenging.
Too Much Church! 5 Dangers Facing Over-Churched Kids
by Tony Kummer
A top concern for most kids pastors is reaching the children in their communities who do not attend church. These unchurched kids simply don’t know much about the Bible. Often they have a mixed up version of Jesus gathered from TV shows. Before they can give their lives to Him, they need a basic introduction to the Good News.
On the other end of the spectrum are kids who are overexposed to church. These are the children who attend every service, and can’t remember anytime when they didn’t come to church. In my ministry, most of these kids also attend a Christian school. They can recite the books of the Bible, they’ve memorized countess Scripture verses, and they know details about Bible stories that I can’t even remember.
By over-churched kids, I mean children with too much religion and not enough actual interaction with Jesus. Attending church is important and should promote spiritual growth, but sometimes there are side effects. In this post, I will describe the spiritual dangers these kids face. You can also read our follow up post that offers 9 strategies for reaching these kids.
This is not an easy topic and I expect some push back from readers. But this is an issue we need to address now, before we raise the next crop of Pharisees.
1. Familiar Stories Lose Their Power: When kids hear the same Bible stories year-after-year they can become a little boring. Even worse – these stories are often told without imagination or any listener interaction. Most over-churched kids have heard the same 100+ Bible stories since they were in the Toddler Sunday School. They no longer connect with the characters or feel moved by the plot resolution. Once I was told by a seminary professor, “ It is a sin to make the Bible boring.” I’m starting to think he was right.
2. Knowledge Can Promote Pride: Something happens inside of us when we become the expert. Children feel that same sense of superiority when they have more religious knowledge than their peers. Too often over-churched kids build their identity around that achievement, even when it doesn’t involve a growing relationship with Christ.
3. They Have Learned to Pretend Pray: A real struggle for grown-ups is connecting with God through prayer. Too often it becomes routine and dry. Most younger children learn prayer as an act of imitation. Many don’t even realize that something cosmic is happening when we address our words to God. They don’t feel the presence of God or even expect that they should.
4. They Don’t Feel Their Lostness: Many over-churched kids don’t know what life is like without the comforts of faith. Their brain say ‘forgiveness’ before their heart feels ‘I’m sorry.’ Because they know about grace, they have never really struggled much with guilt.
5. The Ugly Side of Church: Kids who hang around Christians know the yucky side of the church. They hear the complaining. They know Jesus didn’t fix daddy’s temper yet. They know that church is not always the safest place in their lives. Beyond all this they notice when adults are being fake or doing religious role play.
